Rockin' the Red not-so-pumpy Pumps

Today is Rock the Red Pump day.  March 10, 2012 is designated as National Women and Girls' HIV/AIDS Awareness Day.

Being more into comfort than style, I broke out the red Danskos for the occassion.

Yes, I realize that the "National" in the NWGHAAD title is referring to those living with HIV/AIDS here in America.  But this day brought to mind several women from my past who are living with HIV/AIDS.

In 2006, Dave and I had the opportunity to spend a few weeks in Kenya.  We have friends serving as missionaries there and the focus of their outreach at that time was HIV education and ministering to HIV/AIDS widows.

During our visit, we ventured into the Mathare slums in Nairobi.  It's anyone's guess exactly how many people call these few square miles home.  Recent estimates are anywhere from 750,000 to upwards of 1 million people.

We first visited "The Peanutbutter Project".  It's a cottage industry in which HIV/AIDS widows are employed making and selling peanutbutter.  This benefits them on so many levels.  It provides an income and a sense of purpose.  They are able to receive ARVs (antiretroviral drugs).  The protein in peanutbutter combined with ARVs and hope are life-changing for these women.

We then stopped at Alice's house.  Alice is living... no, she's now thriving... with HIV/AIDS.  Since meeting her in 2006 and buying some of the beaded pins and necklaces she was selling to make a meager income, she has gotten so much stronger and healthier with ARVs.  She now educates and ministers to others.

We visited Jael's apartment.  We were able to provide some groceries and prayer before leaving.  I have a feeling that the hugs we shared are the only ones she had received in a long time.

There was a dying grandma lying on the dirt floor of her shack.  Her children had died of AIDS and she was left as the sole caregiver for her 12 year old grandson.  I'm sure it was just a matter of days after our visit that he was totally orphaned by her passing.

We visited a 1 week old baby boy named Glory.  His mama is HIV+ and was out looking for food.  He was left in the care of his young siblings.

Our last stop was to visit an 18yo mama named Eyelet.  HIV positive Eyelet and her 3yo daughter were living with her mother.  Eyelet's mother did not want to provide help due to her HIV status.

These women did not lead promiscuous lifestyles.  Most likely their HIV was brought home by a husband that visited a prostitute then kicked her (his wife) out when she found out she was HIV+.  Chances are the husband never got tested or gave up his philandering.  And now she is widowed and alone with HIV/AIDS.

There are other casualties of this pandemic.  The children.  Children orphaned by parents who have died of AIDS.  Children born HIV+.  And possibly most catastrophic, children who gain their HIV status by rape.
I hate to break it to you, but there are many misconceptions out there... one of which is that HIV/AIDS can be cured by having sex with a virgin.  There have been many infants and young children harmed and physically mutilated by this lie.

We spent some time at El Joy School.  You would have never guessed that behind those dark eyes and brilliant smiles was pain that no 5 year old should ever have to bear.  I can still hear a line from the poem they recited in English:

"AIDS.  You took my Father...

... You killed my Mother...

And now you're killing me.

You stole my hope."

We're blessed here in the good ole' USA.  We have testing and treatment.  You can be HIV+ and live a long, happy, and healthy life.  There are tons of HIV+ kids on the Reece's Rainbow Waiting Children list just waiting for that chance.  (Also be sure to check out Project Hopeful.)  These kids aren't looking for a perfect parent... just one that will take that chance and love them.

Get educated.  Get involved.  And if you have risk factors, get tested.

Lilly's Birthday Bash

Somewhere in EE, hidden behind orphanage walls, lies a little girl by the name of "Lilly".  For 5 years now she's been waiting for her family to find her. 

Two teen girls-- Sarah and Rachel-- are fervently praying, advocating, and fundraising for Lilly.  Over the past 9 months, they have used their crafting talents to raise over $1,000 for Lilly's Reece's Rainbow grant.

They are currently hosting Lilly's Birthday Bash on their blog.  Their goal is to put her RR grant over the $10,000 mark... the amount where children who've been waiting indefinitely seem to find families.

This Birthday Bash continues through March 5.  Hop over and check out the items they have for sale.  And be sure to tell Sarah that Carla sent you  ;o)

Arnold

Here's a little guy whose Mommy and Daddy need to find him before July.  Recently someone also felt this urgency and made a $15,000 donation to his Reece's Rainbow grant.  (You can read about it here.)  This generous donation will go a long way to helping his Mommy and Daddy pay the fees and travel expenses involved in International Adoption.

If you or someone you know is interested in adoption, please take a look at Arnold.  He's a little guy that will thrive with a family's love.  Won't you give him a chance?

Is it your first visit to our blog?

Over the past few weeks, Dave and I have been blessed to reconnect with friends from our past... people that we don't keep in touch with on a regular basis, yet will always consider friends. 

Since I'm not technologically savvy and am not quite sure how to make a blog button to link you to "Our Story", you can find it here.  This little gem will give you the background information on our adoption journey.  It may answer many of the questions we field when people first learn of our adoption...
... what made you decide to adopt?
... why [country]?
... why Down syndrome?

So if you're just learning about our Little Dude's adoption-- or even found our blog because you're considering a Reece's Rainbow adoption-- pop over to "Our Story".  We love  talking about adoption and our Little Dude, so if you have any further questions, just ask!

Thank You.

...a HUGE thank you to those of you financially supporting our Little Dude's journey home...

In the past 24 hours someone made a sizeable donation to our Reece's Rainbow grant.  While these gifts help offset the hefty fees of International Adoption, it means so much more than that.  It speaks to the sanctity of life.  It tells us that you feel this little guy is worthy of being ransomed... that his extra chromosome was not a mistake... that he is fearfully and wonderfully made.

The truth is I'm continually blown away by God's provision at just the right time.  Today it was not so much about the dollar figure but about having people in our corner.  This morning started with me reading a blog of a family who just went through a really tough time in court.  Thankfully in the end, the judge ruled favorably-- although not until they produced many additional documents, answered days worth of questions, etc. 

There are times that I'm keenly aware of the unseen battle that's raging.  Spiritual warfare.  Satan is not giving up without a fight.  He will not acknowledge that these children are worthy of redemption.  He does not want them to become part of a family where they'll be unconditonally loved and taught about Jesus.

This battle is real.  If you don't believe me, jump into an International Special Needs Adoption and I don't think it'll be long before you concur.

We covet your financial support.  We covet your prayers.  We are humbled by both.

Wait - Waiting - Waited

As much as I'd like to think otherwise, I pretty much stink at waiting.  You'd think a girl who waited until her third decade for Mr. Right to come along would have gotten good at waiting by now, but it's just not so.

I realize that checking my email dozens of times a day is like repetitively pushing the button while waiting for an elevator... it doesn't speed anything up.  But push  we must!

Before you go throwing a pitty party for me and a wait that seems to be dragging on, stop and think about all of the children waiting  in orphanages around the world.  In the grand scheme of things, our wait is short.  Our dossier will soon be registered and we'll receive our travel dates.  Yes, there will be more waiting  for a court date then another wait until we can actually bring our little boy home.  But in the end, that's exactly where that little guy will be... HOME.

Hop over to Reece's Rainbow's list of waiting children.  Take time to look at their faces and read their stories.  These kids have been waiting  their entire lifetime.

I'm not going to lie.  International adoption is neither easy nor cheap.  But it can be done.
Merriam-Webster defines Ransom  as "a consideration paid for the release of someone from captivity".  This ransom is paid in many ways, not just monetary fees.  These "considerations" include mountains of paperwork, adoption prep classes, travel, time away from children & family at home, all of the messiness of life after institutionalization, and yes... waiting.  All are small prices to pay for freedom.

Today I am choosing to believe and claim God's timing and purpose in our wait.  It seems like a no-brainer because He is God afterall... of course He knows best and is in control of the timing.  But this is a shift of focus from me and my ideas of timing and to God and His perfect will for the timing. 

Will I continue to check my email?  sure.   But I'll do so with a renewed commitment of trusting God's timing.

Thank You

A great BIG thank you to those who have shown their support in prayer, blog comments, the purchase of Just Love Coffee, an Adoption Bug T-shirt, or a donation to our Reece's Rainbow Adoption Grant.  While we do receive an email when someone orders a t-shirt, we don't know who has ordered coffee and will not receive the list of donors to our grant until right before we travel.  Therefore, unless you've personally told us of your purchase or donation, we have no way to individually thank you at this time.

And so with greatful hearts, we offer you this big-- albeit generic-- blog THANK YOU.  You have and continue to make a difference.  Your journeying with us has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

I have arrived!

I knew it was coming, but I wasn't sure when.  Today's the day.  The misinformed and misguided person hiding behind the blogger name Kaylee Lee gave me my Official Welcome  to the world of International Adoption... my first nasty blog comment.

Along with all of the great things social media provides, it also affords a spine to those who most likely lack one in face-to-face communication.

I wasn't sure how I'd feel the day this happened; I've witnessed it several times on other Reece's Rainbow families' blogs.  The remarks can be cutting and often not only directed toward the International Adoption process, but also the child's diagnosis of Ds.  I can honestly say I'm not at all angry... I'm actually sort of thankful.  This one comment posted by "Kaylee Lee" in hate has made me feel more like my little boy's Mama than anything else in our process to date.

In closing, I'm reminded of something I read earlier this morning:

             "Hurt people hurt people. But forgiven people are forgiving people and loved people are loving people."

I'm sorry Kaylee Lee for all of the hurt you've had to endure in life to bring you to this point.

We've Moved!

... well, not literally.
But today our Reece's Rainbow family profile moved from "Home Study in Progress" to "Compiling Dossier".  This is one more step in our journey to EE. 

Since we now have a 'completed' date on our HS, we can get our first packet of documents notarized.  The HS and notarized documents will then head to Madison for Apostilling.  Additionally, we can start to file our paperwork with US Immigration.  Once they receive our application and review it, we will be assigned a date for our biometrics (digital fingerprinting).

Oh, and on a side note, our Just Love Coffee that I ordered last Wednesday arrived today.  That's probably a good thing because now we're into the biggest phase of this journey-- compiling the bulk of our dossier.  I may need the caffeine!

a GREAT Christmas gift idea

My bloggy friend Erin is making these super-cute necklaces.  She intially started making them as part of their fundraiser to bring home their little boy.

        

Her son, Sterling, is now home and her fundraising efforts are to raise money for a Waiting Child.  She is Yegor's Christmas Warrior and her goal is to raise $1,000 for his adoption grant by December 31.  Hop over to her blog... if you donate to Yegor, she'll make you the necklace of your choosing (see her blog for specifics about $ amount to donate).  Additionally, if you donate $35 or more to a Reece's Rainbow Waiting Child, you'll receive a Christmas ornament with his/her photo on it (see the Reece's Rainbow page for details).

What would be even greater than Yegor getting $1,000 added to his fund is if his family found him this Christmas.  This little guy needs a family soon.  He's almost 5yo and could be facing transfer out of the baby house-- to an adult mental institution-- very soon.

These necklaces make great gifts... check them out.

And if you see me, be sure to ask to see my necklace with a photo of our Little Dude!

'Mourning' Sickness

I've heard the adoption process referred to as a "paper pregnancy".  Along with a pregnancy often comes Morning Sickness.  I was one of the fortunate ones who had wonderful pregnancies and never a minute of nausea.  This 'pregnancy' is different.  Nausea abounds.  I am sickened by what I now know.

This Mourning Sickness comes from my loss... namely, the loss of my ignorance.
My eyes have been opened.  Opened to the tens of thousands of 'waiting' children worldwide.  Opened to the less than ideal conditions which these children endure.  Opened to the fact that most will never know life outside an institution if we are not moved to act.  Opened to the loss of hope that someone will ever view them as valueable and wanted.  Opened to an even more horrific future these kids will face if they are turned onto the streets when they reach the age of majority.

Sitting here in my middle class American life, it can become too easy to place the blame on the caregivers and governments of the countries where these conditions exist.  However, in my mind that is hypocrisy.  Yes, we no longer see Special Needs individuals as only worthy of institutionalization... we're almost a whole century removed from that mentality.  Conversely, we perform prenatal testing and abortions all in the name of healthcare.  One only has to look at the 90% abortion rate after a positive Down syndrome test to understand that we are not unlike the rest of the world in our view of Special Needs.

These are individuals.  These are children.  They are created in God's image.  They are fearfully and wonderfully made.  And as my friend pointed out today, Our God Doesn't Make Mistakes.  They are a sea of faces.  Faces and names I know from scouring the pages of Reece's Rainbow and family blogs.  Faces of wanted children set in families.

Yes, this preparation for bringing home our little boy brings great joy.  But it is tempered by the fact that I can no longer stick my head in the sand and plead ignorance.  My eyes are opened.

Say Cheese!

Yesterday we accomplished what may in fact be the most difficult part of our dossier... a family photo.
Those who think this is a simple feat obviously aren't currently parenting toddlers.  Our little guy's country requires family photographs wearing business or semi-formal clothing.  Seeing it was Sunday, we decided to dress-up a bit more than our usual church attire.  Running tight on time, a last minute "accident", and a crabby boy prevented a pre-church photo shoot.

Thankfully, after lunch, naps, and a quick touch-up of hair and makeup we were able to get a few acceptable photos.  However, there were many more with the deer-in-the-headlights look, someone not looking at the camera, and just plain silly ones.

This morning I had my physical.  I hope to get in to do my drug screen in the next few days.  After 2 pregnancies, the whole peeing in a cup thing is really a non-event.  We'll wait until after our first set of documents is registered 'in country' before having our bloodwork since that is time-sensitive and has to occur within a few months of our court date.

Right now we're finishing up our Home Study (physicals and drug tests needed for this as well as background checks and references) then our first set of documents will be signed, notorized, and apostilled.  Apostilled is a fancy word meaning "certified" or "authenticated".  Our documents will be sent to our state capital where they will certify that the Notary (or whatever other signature required) is correct.  At a later date, this will also be done with the licenses of the physicians performing our physicals, etc.  It is one additional step of guaranteeing the information provided to our little guy's country is legit.

Is all of this worth it?  You bet.  Jump over to the Reece's Rainbow waiting children page if you don't believe me.  Take a look at the kids and read their stories before you try to tell me otherwise.  While you're at it, check out some of the blogs of families working to bring home their children.

Here is a Bible verse that I seemed to see everywhere as soon as I first saw our little guy's photo:

"Once our eyes are opened, we cannot pretend we don't know what to do.  God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know and holds us responsible to act."

Proverbs 24:12 

And so act we must.  Hang on little buddy, we're coming to get you!    

Our 'pot of gold' at the end of Reece's Rainbow

My parents arrived on the 19th for their fall visit.  They like to make the trek and be back home before the snow flies.  Until then, neither my parents nor Dave's knew we were considering switching from 'domestic infant' to 'international special needs' adoption.  Since we really only made the commitment to our agency and Reece's Rainbow a few days before they arrived, we decided to wait until their arrival to share the news.  Okay, maybe I was the driving force behind that decision, but the party-planning part of my brain was already at work.  We would only have one chance to share this news with them and I wanted it to be special.  Both sets of grandparents were invited and the date was set for the evening my parents arrived.  (I didn't think I could contain the news much longer.)

Our bio boys (ages 2 and almost 4) love to have "Dinner Parties".  That is usually quite simple and only involves the dinner being candlelit.  In the past, I'm sure we've probably even eaten hotdogs by candlelight.  However, this was a bigger occassion.  It's not everyday that you get a new grandson.

Since we found our little guy on Reece's Rainbow, I went with the rainbow theme.  The table setting was quite easy since we have Fiestaware.  I added rainbow candles and goblets.  (Kids think everything tastes better from fancy glassware.)

The real treat was the cupcakes.

One not-so-minor detail I forgot in all of my party planning was figuring out how/when we'd share the news with our parents.  I was assuming Dave would do this and he figured I would since I had spearheaded the party plans.  Oops!
Just before the evening ended, we gave the grandparents framed photos of our little guy.  One look was all they needed and I think 4 more people are in love with him!

Unfortunately not every family's announcement is met with the enthusiasm and acceptance we've received.  We are truly blessed.

Our Story...

We are a family of 4 looking to become 5.  We're heading out on a journey to bring our son home.  This trip will take us thousands of miles across the ocean, as well as through an ocean of paperwork.  You see, the boy who is to become our third son was born in Eastern Europe and has never known life outside the orphanage walls.  The clock is ticking as we fervently work toward his homecoming.  This little guy will soon turn 4 years old.  What's the hurry you ask?  Well, once he turns 4, the risk of him being transferred from the orphanage to an adult institution increases with each passing day.  Our son is "genetically enhanced" with a third copy of his 21st chromosome.  The medical descriptor is 'Trisomy 21', but most know it as Down syndrome.  And so our journey begins...

Thursday, September 22, 2011 began like many other days with me rushing out the door to take our 3yo to Pre-School.  I had glanced at the bulletin board in the school's hallway several times in the past, however that day I stopped to read further.  Handwritten in a child's writing was the quote "I don't want to live like I don't care".  Beneath that sign was printouts of Waiting Children from Reece's Rainbow (www.reecesrainbow.org).  Our 2yo and I headed out on our morning errands, but not before I looked at the Reece's Rainbow website.  When I saw this little guy's sweet face, I thought... and hoped... and prayed that he would become our son.

Dave and I always knew we wanted to adopt and had started the process between the births of our biological sons.  At that time, we found a non-Special Needs, Domestic infant adoption to be the best fit for our family.  We were pursuing this avenue when I became pregnant with our second son.  Our adoption plans were placed on hold until he was 10 months old.  At that time we re-opened our case and began our wait for a placement.  Despite our openess to any race, either gender, and many other factors, we continued to wait for over a year.  We then began to examine if we were on the correct path and if we were really called to adopt.  We never came to a firm conclusion and continued to wait... until September 22, that is.

That weekend, Dave headed "Up North" to a Men's Retreat with my request that he pray about our adoption, where we were headed, and the possibility of bringing this little boy home.  They boys and I stayed home that weekend.  Much of it was spent with me scouring the Reece's Rainbow website as well as imagining this little boy's laughter and smile intermixed with that of our other two boys' as the three would play together.

I contacted Andrea at Reece's Rainbow as well as got preliminary information from the adoption agency that serves his region/country.  We had been pursuing Domestic Adoption with Bethany Christian Services, however they are not the providers for this little guy's region.  Bethany has since agreed to be our Home Study agency-- which is a huge answer to prayer since they already know us and have been wonderful to work with.

Dave returned from his retreat not with a certainty, but with a willingness to consider it and "see where it goes".  We prayed that God would either open or shut doors.  And so the onslaught of being bombarded with things about adoption, Special Needs, Down syndrome, etc. began.  Everywhere we turned there was something confronting us... Think you're safe when Sunday morning's sermon is from 2 Samuel?--not so... Mephibosheth is in there.  Sunday evening's Core Community focus?--adoption.  My moms' group speaker?--my new friend Robyn who will soon travel to bring home her 5th Special Needs child.  The medical journal Dave was reading for work?--an article about teaching children with Down syndrome to ride a bike without training wheels.  And the list goes on.  Some may call it mere coincidence, some say God's hand.  We choose God.

Since that Thursday in September, we have withdrawn from the Domestic adoption program, started the steps necessary to get our Home Study to International standards, committed to our little guy on Reece's Rainbow, scheduled physicals, applied to Creative Adoptions, talked to families who have used Creative Adoptions, and found out our little guy is indeed still adoptable and that his country will consider our application.

In closing, I'll try to answer a few questions you may have.  I am purposely not referring to our little guy by name or country in my blog.  This is done out of respect for his country and it's privacy laws.  While blogging, I may refer to him by any number of terms of endearment.  Our blog title was chosen because Dave commonly refers to our boys as "the dudes".  Those closest to us know the name we've chosen for him (which is quite different than his birth name).  He also has a codename given to him by Reece's Rainbow to help protect his identity and whereabouts.  We don't really know how long it will be until he's home.  Our best guess is 7 months.  During that time, we will complete our Home Study and compile our Dossier (a dossier is about a zillion documents required to be sent to his country).  Then the real wait begins.  Once our dossier is 'in country' it will be translated and delivered.  We will wait for our first travel date.  At that time we will travel to Eastern Europe, meet our little guy, and accept his formal referral.  We then return home and wait for our court date.  Upon receiving our court date, we return to EE, visit our boy, go to court, then the 10-day wait begins.  There are 2 options during that 10-day wait.  We can remain in-country and continue to visit and sightsee or return to the US and make a third trip to EE to get our son once the 10-day wait is over.  Those decisions will be made closer to the time of travel.  A lot depends on when our court date falls (ie. day of the week, holidays, etc.) since the 10 days are 10 business days, as well as what we feel will be best for our 2 little dudes waiting at home.

Finally, we covet your prayers during our journey.