Pondering... and cutting loose

"Mary kept all of these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself.  The sheepherders returned and let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen.  It turned out exactly the way they'd been told!"  -- Luke 2:19-20 the Message

I'm torn.  I've been feeling that I should update our blog... that I should give you a window to what's happening.  It's been more than getting visas, purchasing tickets, and packing suitcases.  To tell the truth, these past few weeks have been amazing.  God has given me some wonderful moments of intimacy and prayer.  I've experienced the sweetness of bearing others' burdens and of them helping carry mine.  I've seen God's Word with new eyes; I've listened to sermons with new ears.  I've watched how He has intricately woven the smallest of details together.  And yet I am torn...

          

 ... torn between being a sheepherder and Mary...

There have been moments where I'm a shepherd... I feel as if I'll explode if I don't "let loose, glorifying and praising God for everything I've heard and seen".

And yet I, like Mary, am a woman.  I have the deep desire to "hold all of this dear, deep within myself".

torn.

So I guess in my own way, I'll do both...  Know that when the tears surface, when my smile is so big I feel my face will crack, or when I become almost lightheaded & giddy, it's because my heart is full to overflowing with all of the things pondered there. 

I can't believe that I get to live this life!